Stories

A little boy's Love

2007-05-04T09:03:00.000-07:00

On the last day before Christmas, I hurried to go to the supermarket to buy the remaining of the gift I didn't manage to buy earlier. When I saw all the people there, I started to complain to myself, "It is going to take forever here and I still have so many other places to go. Christmas really is getting more and more annoying every year. How I wish I could just lie down, go to sleep and only wake up after it..."

Nonetheless, I made my way to the toy section, and there I started to curse the prices, wondering if after all kids really play with such expensive toys. While looking in the toy section, I noticed a small boy of about 5 years old, pressing a doll against his chest. He kept on touching the hair of the doll and looked so sad. I wondered who this doll was for. Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him, "Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?" The old lady replied, "You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear." Then she asked him to stay here for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I started to walk toward him and I asked him who he wanted to give this doll to."It is the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that may be Santa Claus will bring it to her, after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can not bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mother so that she can give it to her when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mummy will also go to see God very soon, so I thought that she could bring the doll with her to give it to my sister."

My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said, "I told daddy to tell mummy not to go yet. I asked him to wait until I come back from the supermarket." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me, "I also want mummy to take this photo with her so that she will not forget me." I love my mummy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and took a few notes and said to the boy, "What if we checked again, just in case if you have enough money?" "Ok," he said. "I hope that I have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll, and even some spare money.

The little boy said, "Thank you God for giving me enough money." Then he looked at me and added, "I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mummy can give it to my sister. He heard me." "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mummy, but I didn't dare to ask God too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and the white rose." "You know, my mummy loves white rose."

A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my trolley. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck who hit a car where there was one young lady and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to get out of the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away. I couldn't stop myself and went to buy a bunch of white roses and I went to the mortuary where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wish before burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place crying, feeling that my life had been changed forever.

The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to that day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunken man had taken all this away from him.

Guy Next Door

2006-10-26T02:12:00.000-07:00

It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

"Jack, did you hear me?"

"Oh sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It' s been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.

"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it," Mom told him.

"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.

"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said.

"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important...Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time. Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.

"The box is gone," he said.

"What box?" Mom asked.

"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was the thing I value most," Jack said. It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.

"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said.

"Anyways, I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read.

Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. "Mr. Harold Belser" it read.

Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside. "Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life."

A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes! Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch. Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved: "Jack, Thanks for your time! - Harold Belser."

"The thing he valued most ...was ... my time."

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked.

"I need some time to spend with my son," he said.

"Oh, by the way, Janet...thanks for your time!"

Date with most beautiful woman

2006-04-17T07:55:00.000-07:00

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, "I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you." The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie."What's wrong, are you well?" she asked. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news. "I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,"I responded. "Just the two of us?" She thought about it for a moment, and then said,"I would like that very much."

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. "I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting."

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy.My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. "It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said. "Then it's time that you relaxand let me return the favor," I responded. During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed."How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice, much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her. Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son."

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: "I LOVE YOU" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve.

Salty yet Sweet!!!

2006-03-08T00:32:00.000-08:00

He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to being polite, she promised.

They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me go home. suddenly he asked the waiter: "would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee." Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but, still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it.

She asked him curiously : why you have this hobby? He replied: "when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I liked playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea , just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my home town, I miss my home town so much, I miss my parents who are still living there". While saying that tears filled his eyes.

She was deeply touched. That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about her far away hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.

They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee!

Then the story was just like every beautiful love story, the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life... And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that's the way he liked it. After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: " My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt it was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything.. Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste..But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again". Her tears made the letter totally wet.

Someday, someone asked her: what's the taste of salty coffee?
It's sweet. She replied.

For my Dad!!!

2006-01-28T11:58:00.000-08:00

The teenager lived alone with his father, and the two of them had a very special relationship. Even though the son was always on the bench, his father was always in the stands cheering. He never missed a game. This young man was still the smallest in the class when he entered high school. His father continued to encourage him but also made it very clear that he did not have to play football if he didn’t want to. But the young man loved football and decided to hang in there. He was determined to try his best at every practice, and thought perhaps he would get to play when he became a senior.

All through high school he never missed a practice or a game, but remained a bench warmer all four years. His faithful father was always in the stands, always with words of encouragement for him.When the young man went to college, he decided to try out for the football team as a ‘walk-on’. Everyone was sure he could never make the cut, but he did. The coach admitted that he kept him on the roster, ‘‘because he always puts his heart and soul into every practice,’’ and, at the same time, provided the other members with the spirit and hustle they badly needed. The news that he had survived the cut thrilled him so much that he rushed to the nearest phone and called his father. His father shared his excitement and was sent season tickets for all the college games. This persistent young athlete never missed practice during his four years at college, but he never got to play in the game.

It was the end of his senior football season, and as he trotted onto the practice field shortly before the big play-off game, the coach met him with a telegram. The young man read the telegram and became deathly silent. Swallowing hard, he mumbled to the coach, ‘‘My father died this morning. Is it all right if I miss practice today?’’

The coach put his arm around the boy’s shoulder and said, ‘‘Take the rest of the week off, son. And don’t even plan to come back to the game on Saturday.’’

Saturday arrived, and the game was not going well. In the third quarter, when the team was 10 points behind, a silent young man quietly slipped into the empty locker room and put on his football gear. As he ran onto the sidelines, the coach and his players were astounded to see their faithful teammate back so soon. ‘‘Coach, please let me play. I’ve just got to play today,’’ said the young man. The coach pretended not to hear him. There was no way he wanted his worst player in this close play-off game. But the young man persisted, and finally, feeling sorry for the kid, the coach gave in. ‘‘All right,’’ he said. ‘‘You can go in.’’

Before long, the coach, the players and everyone in the stands could not believe their eyes. This little unknown, who had never played before was doing everything right. The opposing team could not stop him. He ran, he passed, blocked and tackled like a star. His team began to triumph. The score was soon tied. In the closing seconds of the game, the kid intercepted a pass and ran all the way for the winning touchdown. The fans went wild. His team-mates hoisted him onto their shoulders.

Finally, after the stands had emptied and the team had showered and left the locker room, the coach noticed that the young man was sitting all alone in the corner. The coach came to him and said, ‘‘Kid, I can’t believe it. You were fantastic! Tell me what got into you? How did you do it?’’ The kid looked at the coach, with tears in his eyes, and said, ‘‘Well, you knew my dad died, but did you know he was blind?’’ The young man swallowed hard and forced a smile, ‘‘Dad came to all my games, but today was the first time he could see me play. And I wanted to show him I could do it!’

True Love...

2005-11-16T20:56:00.000-08:00

From the very beginning, girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy, saying that it has got to do with family background, & that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.

Due to family's pressure, the couple quarreled very often. Though the girl loved the guy deeply, she always asked him: "How deep is your love for me?"

As the guy is not good with his words, this often caused the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the gal often vents her anger on him. As for him.. he only endured it in silence.

After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the gal: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"

The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he left, they got engaged.

The gal went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it was hard, but both never thought of giving up.

One day, while the gal was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realized that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum cry, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She had lost her voice....

The doctor says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down. During the stay in hospital, besides silent cry. it's still just silent cry that accompanied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone which pierced into her heart every time it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.

With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply and countless phone calls. all the gal could do besides crying is still crying.... The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.

With a new environment, the gal learnt sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy.

One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him. A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The gal was shattered. When she opened the letter, she saw her name on it instead. When she was about to ask her friend what was going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her....

He used sign language to tell her, "I've spent a year to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You." With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger.

The gal finally smiled......

Colors!!!

2005-11-13T02:31:00.000-08:00

Moths are very ugly creatures. At least that is what I always thought until a reliable source told me otherwise. When I was about five or six years old, my brother Joseph and I stayed overnight at our Aunt Linda's house, our favorite relative. She spoke to us like adults, and she always had the best stories.

Joseph was only four years old, and still afraid of the dark, so Aunt Linda left the door open and the hall light on when she tucked us in to bed. Joe couldn't sleep, so he just lay there staring at the ceiling. Just as I dozed off to sleep, he woke me up and asked, "Jennie, what are those ugly things near the light?"(I had always liked that he asked me questions because I was older and supposed to know the answers. I didn't always know the answers, of course, but I could always pretend I did.) He was pointing to the moths fluttering around the hall light. "They're just moths, go to sleep," I told him.

He wasn't content with that answer, or the moths near his night light, so the next time my Aunt walked by the door he asked her to make the ugly moths go away. When she asked why, he said simply, "Because they're ugly and scary, and I don't like them! "She just laughed, rubbed his head, and said, "Joe just because something is ugly outside doesn't mean it's not beautiful inside. Do you know why moths are brown?" Joe just shook his head.

"Moths are the most beautiful animals in the animal kingdom. At one time they were more colorful than the butterflies. They have always been helpful, kind, and generous creatures. One day the angels up in heaven were crying. They were sad because it was cloudy and they couldn't look down upon the people on earth. Their tears fell down to the earth as rain. The sweet little moths hated to see everyone so sad. They decided to make a rainbow. The moths figured that if they asked their cousins, the butterflies, to help, they could all give up just a little bit of their colors and they could make a beautiful rainbow.

One of the littlest moths flew to ask the queen of the butterflies for help. The butterflies were too vain and selfish to give up any of their colors for neither the people nor the angels. So, the moths decided to try to make the rainbow themselves. They beat their wings very hard and the powder on them formed little clouds that the winds smoothed over like glass. Unfortunately, the rainbow wasn't big enough so the moths kept giving a little more and a little more until the rainbow stretched all the way across the sky. They had given away all their color except brown, which didn't fit into their beautiful rainbow.

Now the once colorful moths were plain and brown. The angels up in heaven saw the rainbow, and became joyous. They smiled and the warmth of their smiles shown down on the earth as sunshine. The warm sunshine made the people on earth happy and they smiled, too. Now every time it rains the baby moths, who still have their colors, spread them across the sky to make more rainbows."My brother sank off to sleep with that story and hasn't feared moths since. The story my aunt told us had been gathering dust in the back corners of my brain for years, but recently came back to me. I have a friend named Abigail who always wears gray clothes. She is also one of the most kind and generous people I've ever met. When people ask her why she doesn't wear more colors she just smiles, that smile, and says, "Gray is my color." She knows herself and she doesn't compromise that to appease other people. Some may see her as plain like a moth, but I know that underneath the gray, Abigail is every color of the rainbow." :)

Love - Ended before it could Blossom

2005-08-31T07:36:00.001-07:00

Becca and I met in the first grade detention room. I didn’t realize how quickly time flew by. I liked speaking to her. From that time, whenever I saw her in the corridors she always smiled and I waved to her. When we entered sixth grade, everyone’s priorities changed...from having challenges b/w girls and guys...they got onto dating. I wasn’t particularly interested in any girl. But the first dance was homecoming and I didn’t have a date. Becca had become one of my closest friends.

At the Friday morning game Becca appeared at my locker, where I furiously pretended to be looking for my biology book. "I didn’t know u weren’t going to the dance”, she accused me.

I shrugged

"C’mon...Why won’t u go?" she pleaded

Still silence from my end

"Is this because you don’t have a date?"

I stopped furrowing n said "maybe"

She sighed in frustration and turned away.

I sighed in relief.

Second confrontation came at the game...

"even I don’t have a date"...she announced

"Becca u told me u had a date"

"would u leave me alone already?"

I looked up to her. She had the wounded puppy look in her eyes. I hated that look

"call me tom ok" I said n walked away

As I turned back...I saw her bright smile n she was doing a happy dance sequence. For once something stirred and I grinned to myself next day. I got THE CALL

"so what did u decide?" she said trying to sound as if she really didn’t care

"I guess...."I started saying the I-wont-be-able-to make- it-to-dance speech I had been rehearsing all day

"thank u...thank u...u wont believe how happy I am, we'll go at seven ok?"

I didn’t want to admit it but her charm was catching up on me and I spent a full hour deciding what to wear

"maybe the night wont be so bad"...I thought to myself

I'll say I had the time of my life. Becca threw her arms around my shoulders

"Thanks for coming" "Thanks for talking me into it”.

I smiled back I must say she did look rather stunning in her turquoise outfit matching the color of her eyes. I could go on looking into them. But self control got better of me as I looked away

"shall we head home?" she asked

"yeah, let's go babe"

We got into my car listening to some soothing music. She looked prettier by the night and all the time I had spent with her since first grade flashed into my mind
"this is weird” she commented
Indeed it was weird to have a hailstorm in October, I thought to myself while switching on windshield wipers. I cast a nervous glance at her
"Are we almost home?" she asked with a twinge of anxiety in her voice
"Yeah...a few more miles"
Squinting out of the front window, I watched the tree limbs laying in the bed of the truck in front of us swinging in the wind
"I don’t think I like being behind this truck" I said nervously
"I m going to get in the other lane"
Just as I turned my blinker on...Becca gasped and screamed in terror "Matt"
The next few seconds lasted for ever, yet they went faster than my mind could process what was happening. The huge truck spun out of control laning on its side. Tree limbs, leaves and everything imaginable came flying towards the car in a tangled mess.

With a sickening crash, we came to rest on the side of the road. I pried my eyes open. Broken branches n twig lay on my lap. The speed and force with which twigs hit us was evident by the etched pattern on my face, arms and other exposed skin. I fought to get out of the car and reached Becca's side and opened the door.
Small twigs n branches were packed and I could hardly see her. In a mix of fear n frenzy I broke them away till I finally uncovered her
"Becca"
"Hmm....are you allrite Matt?"
"Yeah...I m fine. I think...u look awful. Are you okay?"
I think at this point my heart started beating faster
"Yeah I m fine too, glad u r okay"
I was hoping someone would drive by but in this weather it was highly unlikely. Becca turned her head towards me. I strained to look at her face
"I m really glad u came to the dance with me"
"I m glad too"
Her smile slowly turned into a grimace and I followed her gaze. Suddenly I thought I would get sick. A large tree limb protruded from her chest; Right where the heart is supposed to be. Her entire left side was covered in blood and more was added to it with each pulse of her heart
"You’ll be ok"
I told her, taking her hand and holding onto it for dear life
My heart was smashed into a pulp as I watched her. With every breath I took, I could feel tiny razor-sharp daggers stabbing every inch of my body. She smiled again at me...my heart skipped a beat.
"U r so sweet...thanks"
My face was wet and I wasn’t sure it was blood, tears or rain. It was probably all three. Soon her hand grew cold and blood that pulsed from her chest became less with every beat
"Hey Becca"
"Hmmm..."
"Girl...I love u so much. Dont let them keep us apart ok"
"I love u too"
"Hey promise you would always stay with me"
She smiled in a sweet way...closed her eyes...nodded her head and the grip on my hand loosened. In a panicked choke I shook her...

"stay awake girl"
Running out of my voice I stared at the blood covered body of the person I really liked since my first grade. It all ended before starting. I laid my head on her lap n cried till I had no energy left in my body. I fell on the cold ground n grasped her hand again. The cold hail pounded my back. I was all alone.

After two weeks I came back to college. The grief blasted me on my face. I dragged myself to my locker. New card was pinned to it and the handwriting just too familiar. And yet it just couldn’t be. Using every bit of self control I had left I took out the card. A well known scent it carried actually knocked me over. Sitting on the floor, new tears came running down my cheeks. There was nothing left to do. I had to open it. Opening the card I could barely read the lines through my blurred vision

Matt,
I know u really didn’t want to come to the dance tonight
But I m glad u agreed
I really love u
I hope I didn’t drive u mad getting u to agree to coming to the dance
Just wanted to be with you
Don’t know your answer
Hoping to find out soon
Love ya
Becca

I let my eyes wander to exactly the picture I didn’t want to see of me n Becca. It was taken 2 yrs back at a summer camp. How would I stay without her? I closed my eyes. Her face flashed, her beautiful smile, twinkling eyes. I jerked my eyes open to reality. I wasn’t alone. She was in every smile I gave away. The spirit of that girl...lived within me

Love Story

2005-08-10T00:42:00.000-07:00

It was a lovely December morning in the hottest city in the world. All right, so that was a little unfair. Chennai is not the hottest city in the world. But it certainly is the city with the most uncomfortable weather among the cities that I have lived in. And I've been around. But I digress.

I was in the company bus on my way to work, as usual trying to catch up with my sleep. On this particular day, a girl got on the bus, came to my seat and sat down. “Good Morning,” she said. I looked back at her through half closed eyes, replied “Good Night,” and then proceeded to return to my half hour nap before the bus reached the office. Unfortunately, I was woken up by a punch in the arm.

“Wake up, bozo!” She was looking at me with a big smile on her face. “I'm not sitting next to you to listen to you snore.”

Half-heartedly, I opened my eyes and turned to her. “What's up?” I asked.

Preeti Mehra was tall, good-looking and slightly tomboyish. She was also my best buddy. “Come on,” she said. “Don't look so disappointed. You'd rather sleep than talk to me?”

“I talk to you everyday, Preeti.”

“You also sleep everyday.”

“It's not enough.”

“So you've had enough of talking to me, eh?”

You can't argue with a statement like that, so I had to give up. I grinned and said, “OK, sweetheart. What's on your mind?”

“I wanted to tell you what happened yesterday. Can you guess?”

“Anurag called you last night.”

“How did you know?” She was stunned.

“Oh, he asked me for your number yesterday.”

“And you gave it to him?”

“What else could I do? And stop complaining. You've been drooling over him for weeks now. He must have thought he had a chance.”

Preeti was the kind of girl who would openly ogle at every other guy she saw. And yet, she would not respond to any advances of a romantic nature. She'd happily join a group of boys to go to a cricket match, but if asked out to a movie, dinner, or even coffee, she'd never say yes. She defined 'Hard-To-Get'.

“You like putting me in these situations, don't you?” she said.

“No. That's not true. I love putting you in these situations!”

That invited another punch in the arm.

I had known Preeti for a year. We'd tell each other about our joys and our sorrows, our victories and our defeats. I'd tell her about all my crushes and she'd scold me for being silly. She'd drag me to classical music concerts and I'd add them to the list of things she 'owed me' for.

And though I never let it show, I must say that she punched pretty hard.

~*~

It was 12:00 am and my phone was ringing. “Hello,” I said, as I picked it up.

“Happy Birthday!” It was she.

“You're supposed to throw me a surprise party, sweetheart. Not just call to say Happy Birthday.”

“Well then open your door, dumbo!”

So I did and found her, cell-phone in hand, at my doorstep -- with what seemed like half the population of my company. My roommates were supposed to be working late that night. Now I knew why.

I blew a lot of candles (seemed like much more than 25), cut my cake, got kicked in the behind, and got painted with the cake's icing. If Preeti had had her way, she'd probably have preferred to use a paintbrush and a can of paint. But I bribed her with a copy of the book ”Lord of the Rings”. She'd borrowed it from me three times already. I thought it was about time I gave her a copy for herself.

We chatted for an hour after everyone had gone. “I think it's time I left,” she said finally, trying to stifle a yawn. I nodded. I dropped her home in my roommate's car. As she was getting out of the car, I stopped her.

“Hey, Preeti.”

“What?”

“Thanks.”

“Hey, don't get senti on me now!” she smiled. “Are you trying to worm out of that gift you promised me?”

“You know, it's interesting how I'm getting you a gift on my birthday.”

“That's just because you're stupid,” she grinned. “And you better get me that book, or I won't return your copy.”

“Hey, that copy was a gift to me from my dear friend Preeti Mehra. I can't let you keep that.”
She wasn't falling for that. “Your dear friend? And what about me? Am I not dear to you?”
“Very smart. That won't work with me. I'm not one of your Love Crazy suitors. Why do you need the book anyway? You've read it umpteen times already.”

“That is besides the point. You are getting me the book. We both know that.” She smiled that wide confident smile of hers. “Good night.” And she got out of the car.

I sat there for some time, just thinking. Our conversations were always like this – a little joking, a little teasing and a lot of demanding. But somehow, I felt that something had changed since the moment she had turned up at my door that night. I was still in my reverie when a paper ball landed on the windshield. I craned my neck out of the window and looked up. She was standing in her balcony.

“What are you still doing there?” she whispered loudly.

“Waiting for you to start a paper-ball fight,” I whispered back.

“We can do that tomorrow. Go home now. It's way past your bedtime!”

“Ok, mommy,” I grinned back. “I'm going home now!”

~*~

I'm an extravagant gift-giver, and it is definitely going to be my downfall some day. I made her wait for it, but finally bought her the book. That, and half-a-dozen other omnibus collections of various authors, including a copy each of `The Complete Works of Shakespeare' and `The Complete Short Stories of Charles Dickens'. All I got for it was an “I told you so.”

I started spending a lot of time at her place after that. Mostly because I wanted to read all those books, and she wouldn't lend them to me.

“I'm not as stupid as you, ape-man. I'm not falling into the same trap I laid for you. Plus, you dog-ear your books. You're not doing that to these masterpieces. So if you want to read them, you read them here. And if you want to mark your place, use a bookmark.”

So that's what I did. She'd even make me wash my hands before I touched the books. It was as if they were sacred.

“Need I remind you that it was me that bought you the books in the first place? For my birthday!”

“So? They're mine now.”

“Well, then. I've been meaning to ask you this for a long time. Where exactly is my birthday gift?”

“It was in your tummy at one point of time. It's probably been washed into the sea by now.”

“Huh?”

“Remember the cake I baked you on your birthday?”

“You what? You can't bake cakes!” That was a mistake. She looked hurt. “You baked me a cake?” She didn't say a word. She just shrugged.

I was stunned. “But you never told me.”

“You didn't ask.” That was typical of her.

“It was fantastic! And you wasted most of the icing on me!”

“The cake was for you, dumbo.”

“How long did it take you to make the whole thing?” It had been a two-layered vanilla-chocolate cake with three flavors of very creamy icing. She had done all that!

“Well, the chocolate cake took an hour and fifteen minutes, and so did the vanilla. Then cutting them up and putting them together took another 15 minutes. Each flavor of icing took 20 minutes for preparation, and then putting it on the cake took another half hour. Cleaning up the mess took an hour.”

She seldom claimed the credit for anything, but once she started bragging, there was no stopping her. However, I wasn't thinking about that right then.
“You spent over five hours on that cake?”

“A little over four hours preparing it, and an hour cleaning up. Yes.”
I was speechless. I didn't know how to react. She hated cooking.

“I forgot to mention,” she continued, “the hours I spent the week before that, practicing. Even the birds wouldn't touch the first three cakes!”
I couldn't help but ask. “Why?”

“Because the first one got burnt, the second one was only half cooked, and in the third one, I forgot to add sugar.”

It was just like her, to try to divert the conversation. “I mean why did you spend so much time on baking me a cake?”

She looked at me like I'd asked her why the sun rises in the east. “For your birthday, stupid. Of course, I also wanted to beat every gift you've ever got me. Try beating this one.” She was grinning like she'd won the world championship.

As far as I was concerned, she had. I'd never spent a week making her anything. I'd never even spent an hour making her anything. Getting her a gift normally involved me taking her to the store, letting her choose and use my credit card. Suddenly, I felt cheap. “Thanks,” was the only thing I could say. ”Thanks a lot.”

“Hey. Are you getting senti on me again?” I was.

~*~

I was still mulling over my feelings for Preeti the next day at work when my boss asked to speak to me.

I went over to his cabin and he started with the usual greetings, asking how work was going and whether I was comfortable. He then told me that the company wanted to send me to New York for a couple of years. Normally, this wouldn't have made much of a difference to me. I could work anywhere and didn't have too much love for visiting places foreign. But right then, the first thought that came to me was that I'd be away from Preeti for two whole years. Twenty-four hours before, I'd have been disappointed to lose her company. But right then, I was devastated. That was when I knew I was in love with her. I'd had crushes before. Lots of them. But this was different.

“Do you have any problem in going?” my boss asked, since I hadn't responded.

“Not really,” I replied. What else could I say? That I was in love, and couldn't bear the separation?

“When do I have to leave?”

I had a month.

~*~

“Wow! New York! Great! I've heard it's a fantastic city! Did you know it snows there in winter?” Preeti was obviously very excited about my going. She didn't seem to share my disappointment on what I now saw as 'separation'.

I had not decided then if I was going to tell her how I felt. We'd known each other for a little over a year, and we were very close, but beyond some mild flirting, the relationship had never got even close to romantic. That was, of course, until I found out she had spent a week baking me a cake. It's funny how small things seem to make such a big difference.

“What happened?” she asked. “You don't seem very happy.”

“Oh,” I replied, “it's just that it's so sudden, that's all. And you know I was never all that interested in going to America.”

“What an idiot. Go see the place. I've heard the women there are amazingly beautiful.” She had a sly smile on her face. I wanted to tell her I didn't care if I laid my eyes on another woman again, if she wasn't with me. But I didn't.

I realized that I only had another month with her. She'd rejected every guy who'd asked her out ever since I'd known her. I didn't want the same to happen to me, and I didn't want to make it awkward between us. I didn't want to risk that month. I wanted it to be the best time I had ever spent with her. After I came back from the US, I might not even get to meet her again. Two years was a long time.

We ate out almost every night. We visited some of the best restaurants in the city. She also helped me shop for warm clothes, formalwear, shoes, toothpaste and a million things I'd never have thought of on my own.

“You need to buy a nail-cutter.” My roommates and I shared one.

“I've prepared a list of must-have medicines that you should carry.”

“Your iron won't work in the US. No point buying one here as you need one that works at a hundred and ten volts and has flat pins. You can buy one at a K-Mart or Wal-Mart as soon as you get there.”

“You need at least two pairs of formal shoes and at least ten pairs of dark socks. The East Coast has a formal dress code. And you won't do your laundry more than once a week or two.”

“How many ties do you have? And which trousers do your blazers go with?”

“Better get a haircut before you leave from here. Knowing you, you'll postpone the first haircut for too long.”

She'd call me up at one in the morning to tell me to add 'one more item' to my list.
And with every passing day, I was falling more deeply in love with her.

The month swept by quickly. The day I was supposed to leave, I asked her to come with me to the airport. “Of course, dumbo. You think I'd let you go just like that, or what?”
After packing my bags for me and checking the lists for the hundredth time, she finally pronounced me “Good to go.”

We reached the airport four hours early to beat the rush, because it was an international flight. She got a visitor's pass to sit in the waiting area while I went ahead and checked-in my bags. Preeti had got a spring balance from somewhere and so we knew my bags were well within the weight limit. I finished the formalities and came to sit with her. We had only a few hours before I had to go for my security-check. We decided to get something to eat at the food court. And all the time, the one thing that was going through my head was that, after this, I wouldn't see her for at least another two years.

“Hey, Champ. Why so glum?” She saved 'Champ' for special days. Normally, it was just 'dumbo', 'bozo', 'ape-man', 'matchstick man', 'weirdo', or if she was very irritated with me, 'nutcase'.

“I don't want to go,” I said.

“I don't want you to go either.”

“No, you don't understand.” I couldn't hold it in any longer. “I can't stand the thought of living without you by my side.”

She stared at me. There was a strange look in her eyes. I couldn't read it.

“I am madly in love with you, Preeti.”

At this, a sound escaped her lips that sounded like a cross between a sob and a laugh. “Well, dumbo, you've picked an absolutely fabulous time to tell me about it!”

A tear escaped her eyes. It was all I could do to stop myself from wiping it off her cheeks.

“How long have you felt this way?” She seemed amused, though she was definitely crying. I didn't know what to make of it.

“From the day I found out you had baked me a cake.”

She laughed. “That's all it took? Well, bozo, I guess a way to a man's heart is certainly through his stomach! Hold it. A month? You waited a month? You were the one who kept saying that if you really liked a girl you wouldn't waste a day in telling her!” She was smiling widely now. It looked funny, with her eyes all wet.

“Well, I was confused. How did I know how you'd react? In fact, I still don't understand your reaction. I thought it would change things between us. You've rejected every guy who ever proposed to you!”

“That's because I'm in love with you, you overgrown idiot!”

“What?” Somehow, I'd never expected her to say that. She was in love with me? “How long have you been in love with me?”

“Ever since the day you offered to carry my suitcase for me.”

“But that was the first day I met you!”

“I guess I was always a sucker for chivalry.”

“All this time you've been in love with me and you never said anything! Then you go and complain that I waited a month!”

“You guys are so bad at reading a girl's mind.”

“You women are so good at keeping your thoughts a secret! Even Einstein couldn't figure you out.”

“Einstein was a nerd. Casanova, on the other hand, understood us very well.”

“I love you.”

“I know.”

That moment, my dear friends, was magic. I looked into her eyes and took her hands in mine. Physical contact for us had been limited, until then, to a punch in the arm, a slap on the back of the head, or giving each other a 'high five'.

“You realize, don't you,” she said, “that this is our first date?” Leave it to her to notice the little things.

“I really don't want to go.” I'd always maintained that love is a bucketful of emotions. I wasn't exactly delighted to be proved right.

“Don't worry. I'm coming there in a couple of months.”

“How? On a dependent visa?”

She laughed. “For that, I'll have to wait, won't I? I've got a project in New Jersey.”

I couldn't believe my ears. “What? When did that happen? You never even told me!”

“Well, I wasn't sure you'd propose before you left. And I couldn't exactly sacrifice you to those New York women, could I? I had to watch out for myself. So I went on a project-hunting spree. There is an opportunity coming up for a project in about two months. Someone is coming back to India, so I'll be taking his place. They want me there for a little less than two years.” She was beaming. “I realized I had struck gold!”

“And if I'd not told you how I felt? When were you planning on telling me about it?”

“Around a month before I reached there. I had to make it look natural. Or you'd think I was desperate.”

“Well, you are desperate!” This was incredible. All I'd done in the past month had been to mope around, listen to sad songs and write her letters that I never intended her to read.

“You've been scheming all this while! How come you didn't lay a trap for me a year ago?”

“I tried giving you hints, dumbo, but you just wouldn't pay attention!” She was laughing.

“You're the only guy I ever spent any time with. Wasn't that a big enough hint?”

That was true. She would happily join a group of boys to go to a cricket match, but I now realized, only if I was one of them.

“What if I had rejected you?” I was extremely flattered that she'd been crazy about me for a year. My ego was swelling.

“You must be kidding!” she was clearly amused. “I get proposed to every few days. You are the one who's been rejected more times in the last year than I can count on two pairs of hands!”

She really knew how to burst my bubble.

“Hey,” she said softly, “don't look so dejected. I said 'Yes', didn't I?”

I grinned. “Yes, you did. And you've made me a very happy man. But you know what would make me even happier?”

“What?”

“If you learn to cook as good as you bake cakes.”

So she punched me in the arm again.

The Beginning

Carry me in your arms..

2005-07-31T11:53:00.000-07:00

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. Thebridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. Mybuddies insisted that I carry her out ofthe car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happybridegroom.

This was the scene of ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of purewater: we had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets weresteadily increasing, the affections between usseemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.

Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected byunpredictable changes. Dew came into my life. It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. Myheart once again was immersed in her stream of love.

This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said,You are the kind of man who best draws girls eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of mywife.When we just married, my wife said, Men like you,once successful, will be very attractive to girls.Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so. I moved Dew's handsaside and said, You go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her.

At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dews body.This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slight joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious. When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes. Once again, Dew said to me, Hey Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded.

I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised a serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

At that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had stressed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer. At late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, Hey Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning. I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form. I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer. On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried and tried a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown fatter. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger.

I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out, he said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms,walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old. I held her tightly and said, Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lacking of such intimacy.

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious. She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The sales girl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, "I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.."

Send my Love to Heaven

2005-07-24T08:43:00.000-07:00

What can I say about a girl I loved since I was ten... that I love the way she laughs at me when I commit mistakes, the way she fusses over silly things and even the way she cries over some sad silly late night show...

She was my best friend and I have known her since we were small. She knew all my secrets, which reveals my feelings for her, that I love her not only because she's pretty and smart but also the way she laughs at everything and the way she sees life and love. I could still remember the first time we met; I was five years old then. It was one windy afternoon having no one to play with except for my best friend, Troy. He and his family just moved out to a neighboring state at transfer because his father got promoted. And so I climbed up our tree house, I saw a moving truck coming down the street. I watched it approaching and noticed a family station wagon following it. It stopped in front of the house and out came a family. I was about to glance away when came out the loveliest girl I've ever seen.

She was four years old that time but then even at an early age she was a beauty. She had long curly hair, which reached almost to her waist. She had fair complexion and eyes which could make a man lose his heart into them. I continued to watch her when suddenly she looked up and saw me watching them in the tree house window. I was about to duck when she smiled and waved her hand. I waved back and then watched in amazement as I saw her running towards the tree house. So I went to the edge of the ladder and said, "Would you like to come up?" she answered, "May I?" So I help her climb up and when she reached the top she then turned to me and said, "By the way, my name's Sam, what's yours?" I answered, "My name is Christopher but then you can call me Chris." She smiled and said, "Well I like your name. Hey your tree house's neat!" then I replied, "Thanks! Troy and I made this. This used to be our hide out. We used to goof around, play ball and go biking together. He was my best friend and I kind of miss him you know." She smiled and said "I'm here now, we could do things you do with Troy and I could be your new best friend too. I never had a boy for a friend before so it could be exciting to have one. I could learn how to play ball and I have my bicycle so we could go biking together. Now how does that sound to you?" I smiled and said, "Well that sounds good enough." Then she held her hand and said, "It's a deal then!"

So that's how it started. So we became best friends and it was kind of strange at first for she was a girl and there are things which I was little bit hesitant to indulge her like catching frogs, swimming in the lake and climbing trees, but then she tried and did everything just to please me. There was even a time when she fell off the bike trying to catch up with me in a race we had and I was the one who bandaged her scraped knee. I could still remember the time when she hit the window of our neighbor when we were playing baseball and it was I who talked to Mr. Chambers and promised to pay for the damage, which meant having to loose a week's allowance. I remembered the time when I fell off the tree when I tried to rescue a little kitten because Sam was near to tears when she saw the helpless kitten trapped in a branch. I even fought with the tough guy when they teased Sam and made her cry and I ended up having a black eye and a bruised cheek. I remember Sam crying as she placed an ice bag over the damaged eye and later gave it a get-well kiss. I did everything to please her and gave everything her little heart desires.

The lake was our favorite hang out. We had our Saturday swim routine. We would pack food and later eat them under the big oak tree. There was a special branch in which the two of us could sit together and tell each other's dreams. She dreams of being a Ballerina and she knows my dream of becoming a doctor. She never laughs at my dreams and pursuits even if they were quite impossible. It made me like her even more.

As years went by, I noticed that my feelings towards her were slowly changing. Somehow, I thought it was just a simple crush case. But when I started thinking about her at night, dreaming of her and having the feeling of wanting to be with her all the time, I thought it was something different, something that made me feel strange, but then it was exhilarating feeling. It made me feel so alive. Whenever our hands touch, I could feel the tingling sensation in my spine. Once when we were at the lake having our Saturday swim routine and as I carried her towards the water edge, I had the feeling of not wanting to let go. I just wanted that moment to continue hoping it would never end. I then realized I was slowly falling in love with my best friend.

Many times I tried to deny the feeling for I was scared to imagine what would happen if ever I'd try to tell her how I feel about her. I was scared because she might think that I'm taking advantage of her and our friendship. I was afraid of losing her so I just kept my feeling hidden.

We reached the age of fifteen and I noticed that Sam grew lovelier each day. How my heart aches wherever I see boys glance her way. I want to punch their noses as I watch them talking to her giving compliments, flowers and chocolates. There were times when I watch her at a distance with mixed feelings of anger and hurt! Because it hurts so much to know that there were so many things I wanted to tell her but then I could not do so. There were so many presents which I long to give her but then I could not for she might see me only as a friend. I was also scared of letting her know how I feel about her as much as losing her.

Then one day, I just learned from a friend that she already had a boyfriend. At first, I tried to convince myself that it was just a rumor. Her boyfriend was Mark, a popular senior, who was the heartthrob of the campus. She, being the cheerleader was close to the basketball team to which Mark was the captain. When I saw them walking together at the parking lot that afternoon, I watched her with my heart slowly breaking into pieces. I saw her wave at me but I just pretended not to see her for I was scared that she might see in my eyes the pain I'm feeling inside because of seeing her with another guy. Those days that followed where the saddest days of my life. How my heart aches when I see her walk by me with him at her side. Every time we meet in hallways and I see him around her, there's a feeling inside me that makes me want to grab her away from him. How it hurts to see the girl I long possess was now owned by somebody else. That special smile I long for her to cast on me was now casted on him. As she passes by me she doesn't know that I whisper the words "God how I love you."

Then one faithful day they broke up. She came too me that evening crying on my shoulder. They had a big fight and it ended up with their break up. Mixed feelings were scaring me inside. I was happy because she was free and maybe I would have the chance of telling her my true feelings for her but then I was feeling so bad because she is crying her heart out just for him. At that time, I was not quite sure of what I wanted to do.

So we found ourselves doing what we did in old days with our Saturday swim routine, spending time in our tree house. We still enjoyed doing childish pranks for we still are both young at heart. So many chances I had for me to confess my feelings for her but still I couldn't bring myself to her for I was scared of losing her once more. I once lost her, now I could not bear of losing her again by telling her, "I love her". So I just kept my feelings even if it was bursting to be expressed from my aching heart.

It was a week from our JS Prom, we were seated at the branch of an oak tree drying ourselves after our afternoon swim when she said, "I was wondering Chris if you would like to be my partner?" It just got out of my wits for it was like a dream I never thought would happen. It took me awhile to answer her, "I thought there are so many boys who would die for you to be their partner?" So she turned away and quietly said, "Well I just thought I would like to spend that night with my best friend." Then she continued in a whisper I could barely hear, "Don't you want to die just like them to be my partner Chris?" I was too stunned to speak for it came close for me to blurt my feelings for her. We… we're silent for a while until I finally whispered, "I would be happy to be your partner Sam. "The she smiled and suddenly kissed my cheek. I could hardly contain the joy I felt that time. I saw her turned red and bowed her head. Suddenly she stood up and run towards the water saying, "Last one to reach the water treats to sundae fudge!”I ran slowed up so that I would lose which meant having to have her with me for another three hours or more.

Our Prom night came. I bought a new tuxedo and poured almost the entire bottle of perfume. I went to fetch Sam. Sam's mother greeted me and I went to sit in the living room waiting for her to come down. I was talking to her father when I heard her say, "How do I look?" I look up and saw her lovelier than ever in a strapless white dress with her hair flowing around her face. I stood up and opened my mouth but found out I could not find my voice. Then I got her hand shakily fastened the corsage around her wrist and whispered, "To the loveliest girl in the whole world." She then asked, "Is that true?" I nodded and she smiled and I smiled back then I turned to open the door for her. When we arrived at the gymnasium we hardly recognized our classmates. Gone were the jeans and T-shirts. They were replaced with tuxedos and gowns. Then I held out her hand bowed and said, "Would you give me the honor of your first dance?" She laughed and curtseyed. Then I led her to the dance floor. It was like a dream coming true, a moment of enchantment. I was there dancing with the only girl I ever loved. She was smiling up to me, as we were slowly moving in a smooth gliding motion. I found myself lost as I stared down to her sparkling eyes. The curls of her long hair were like waves enhancing her beautiful face. There were so many things I wanted to tell her that moment. I wanted to tell that she was the most beautiful girl that night. I wanted to tell her that she would always be the beacon of light in my darkness, but what I wanted to tell her the most was that I love her. I drew up all my courage and bent to whisper it in her ear but suddenly the music stopped and the magic was gone. I came close to telling her, but still haven't done it.

We walked towards the table and found ourselves surrounded by friends. I asked her if she wanted a drink, she nodded and so I went to get one. It took me a long time to get one and when I returned to our table, she was gone. I asked her friend, Katie, where she was but she told me that she doesn't know. So I went to search for her. As I was searching for her, I reached the garden. There I saw two silhouette figures outlined by the moon's silvery light. They were so close to each other that I could never describe the feeling I had when I recognized the white dress that Sam was wearing that night. I just turned and left the gymnasium.

Since that night, I avoided her. Many times she tried talking to me but I never gave her the chance to do so. I was afraid to hear her say that she loves Mark and not me. I would rather have left in ignorance of her true feelings for me than to hear from those dreaded words and feel my hope crush and my heart break. I didn't return her calls. I would not see her if she comes into our house. In the hallways, as she approaches I would go to another direction. It also hurts to do those things but then I thought that was the best way to forget her. Those months were tormenting but still I kept my pride.

The day of our graduation came. I was planning to take up medicine at a neighboring state and was to move out the next day. As the program ended, she approached me and handed me a rose. As she stared at me, there was something in her eyes I couldn't describe. There was sadness in them and when she smiled it wasn't the same smile she had. I wanted to hug her at that moment, tell her that I love her but then she turned and walked away from me.

So I moved out the next day as I planned. Luckily, I was accepted at the university. I concentrated with my studies but still I think of her at night. I was always wondering if she thinks of me too. I tried hard not to think of her but still I could not stop myself from loving her. Each achievement I have was done for her. I thought that if I will be successful one day, I would be able to tell her that I love her and by that time, I'm worthy of having her.

It was a year after our graduation when I decided to return home and see her again. I thought a year is too much for me not to see her and during the past year I felt like a person lost in the desert and only the sight of her could quench the thirst I have inside. As I got off the plane, I went home directly, desperate to get to her house desperate to see her, to hug her. Then I would tell her that I missed her and that I have loved her for a long time. This time I am determined to let her know my true feelings for her and I could not contain anymore the love I have for her. I reached their house; I saw her elder sister and I approached her. I smiled at her but I noticed she didn't smile back. I was confused for she used to be a cheerful lady just like my dear Sam. I then asked, "Hi Jen! I guess you're surprised why I'm here. Well I just want to visit you and I was also hoping to see Sam. I kind of miss her you know. Mmm… by the way have you seen her?" All I saw was sadness in her eyes as she replied quietly "Come follow me."

I was confused with the way she's acting but still I followed her. As we were walking, I was trying to indulge her in a conversation but she just answered my question briefly. Then I realized that she was leading me to the direction of the lake. It was still the same as I left it, with the same oak tree, Sam and I used to climb up. I smiled upon remembering the kiss Sam gave me when I agreed to be her partner. It's been one of the happiest days in my life and I realized that I missed Sam more than I thought. Then Jen stopped walking and pointed to the tree. She then whispered, "There's Sam."

I looked at where she was pointing and saw a newly dug tomb with the name of the girl I ever loved. I could not believe at what I saw and desperately tried convincing myself that this is all just a nightmare and I would soon wake up. I stared at Jenny in disbelief with her eyes searching for explanations and she slowly started saying, "It has been a week since she died. She died of Leukemia, but even though she was sick, she never stopped thinking about you. It was even your name she uttered before she died. She asked us to bury her here for she always regards this place as a place of LOVE. She said that this is where she had spent the happiest days and that was when she was with you. By the way, she also asked me to give you this." She handed me a parcel and with that she left.

I slowly opened the parcel and saw that it contained the dried orchid from the corsage I gave her for our prom. Then at the bottom I saw a letter. It was dated last month. I opened it with shaking hands and started reading........

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I know… by this time you read this letter I'm gone. I just want to tell you that I feel very lucky and thankful to God that I had a friend like you. I would also like you to know that I had left something inside, something I kept from you all these years. I love you Chris, not in a friendly way but as one who would feel like spending the rest of my life with. I have always loved you even from the start. I guess it just bloomed each day that's why the happiest days of my life was… when you were by my side. You just don't know how I dreamed of you at night and wake up in the morning and dream no more for you were with me. When you were away, I can't stop crying because I was afraid to think that you are with another girl. I just can't bear to see you with another girl. I just want you all to myself. I may sound selfish but that's how I feel.

Each time, you held me close to you, was like a dream coming true, for to be close to you and feel your heart beating next to mine was like heaven. So many things I did so that you will learn to love me but I NEVER saw a hint. I did everything to please you because I love you so much that I even tried to fool myself that you're in love with me too. So many nights I've cried when I think of myself unloved by you. Well you might think that what I'm saying are lies but, I tell you, my heart speaks the truth for I cannot bear telling a lie to the one I love. I know you might be thinking of Mark; but I just did that to make you jealous, to make you see me as a young woman, capable of loving and not as the little girl you used to play with. Sometimes I imagined that you were jealous and fooled myself that it was a sign that you feel something for me too. When Mark and I broke up and I came crying, I just did that to know… how you would react and with that I'll know that you love me too. But I failed for you didn't give me any clue. When our prom night came, you just don't know how happy I was when you handed me the corsage and saying that I was the loveliest girl in the whole world. While we were dancing, I wanted so desperately to hear you say that you love me too but you NEVER did. When Mark came and pleaded me to give him a second chance, I was scared that you might see us talking. I didn't want you to get the wrong impression so I told him we would talk in the garden. There I explained to him that it's you whom I really love.

What happened next was that I found you missing and later learned that you were searching for me, I just concluded that you saw us together. The next day, I tried to explain but then you never gave me a chance to do so. You continuously avoided me and never knew how much pain I've experienced that time. I felt the world crushing on me. In our Graduation day, when I approached you, I wanted to tell you… how much I loved you but I decided that I just couldn't do it. I could not bear to hear that all you feel for me is just brotherly hand of love. For I want you to love me as a woman and not as a girl or playmate. So I just turned away and left.

Now that saying I LOVE YOU might be too late, but still I want you to know that I will always love you and my heart has always been and will be yours alone.

P.S.: Think of me sometimes... and always remember that loving you was the best thing that ever happened in my life.

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I felt my tears falling as I folded the letter. I wanted to shout out to let her know that I love her, if not as much, but more than she did for me. I love her more than anything in this world. I knelt touching the soil of her grave and rain started to fall. I continued crying softly and whispered, "Oh God, send my love to heaven."

DISCLAIMER: I am not the original author of this story. I just posted this on my blog to keep this as a treasured collection. SO please refrain from commenting about the integrity and the honesty virtues.

Quote

2005-07-24T08:26:00.001-07:00

No story is the same to us after a lapse of time;
or rather we who read it are no longer the same interpreters